MOUNT VERNON — A heated restroom at Harmony Playground is pretty routine. Understanding that it stemmed from turning heartbreak into an opportunity for good adds significance.

On Nov. 20, 2021, Sara Mankins’ and Brian Ball’s daughter, Frances Miriam Dorothea Mankins Ball, was born without a heartbeat. She died a few days after birth.

The restroom honors Frances’ memory. Community members gathered in Memorial Park to dedicate it on Nov. 21.

“Three years ago, we were holed up in the OSU Maternity Ward in the middle of COVID with no visitors, trying to make sense of the previous 48 hours,” Mankins said. “My mentor suggested we should do something because Brian and I are doers and would need something to do.

“But also we have public lives, and we need to give people around us something to do as well. We wanted to do something for the living kids in our community.”

“Our Frances did not have a chance to be outside,” Ball said. “Her time outside was 216 hours of total quiet. She did not cry; she did not play, and she did not need milk. She did not need a diaper changed, and she did not make a mess.

“So this is for the people who need their diapers changed, who need a glass of milk. They have to go to the bathroom and want to stay here and play.”

“Our actions can inspire others, and we can do more than we know at the outset,” Mankins said. “We can turn the most terrible things into opportunities to do good in our communities.”

Understanding the assignment

Mankins said the couple hopes the restroom is a great asset for families.

“If you’ve ever been at this park with with a little kid, you know that when a 3-year-old tells you they have to go to the bathroom, they’ve probably been playing for too long, not wanting to stop. It’s very unlikely that you will get to the other one before there’s an accident, and it’s nearly impossible if you have more than one kid to corral,” she said.

Mankins said she recently sat with a widow who squeezed her face and grimaced and whose grief was palpable.

“It was like trying to get water out of a washcloth. Your body squeezes and your face contorts as if that might help to get this incredible intense pain out of your body,” she said.

“That’s sort of what our project is, an effort. The need to do something has to spill into something.”

“We can turn the most terrible things into opportunities to do good in our communities.”Sara Mankins

Mankins said the couple asked others to join in, not knowing what the result might be.

“Our friends, family and community understood the assignment,” she said. “More than 100 individuals have donated to this bathroom and to the Friends of Francis Fund at SPI.”

Sharing the heartbreak

Katie and Nick Fiorelli, owners of Crossfit 1808, host Caroline’s Classic, a charity competition in honor of their niece with Down Syndrome.

“We didn’t know what it was like to have an individual with a disability as part of our life,” Katie said. “She very quickly taught us that it’s amazing and brought us a lot of perspective on the world.

The competition raises money for local causes that support individuals with disabilities. The first-year proceeds went toward playground equipment.

They learned of the restroom project in 2022, and Katie said, “It immediately felt right.”

The Fiorellis donated proceeds toward the project; Knox County DD matched it for a $22,000 donation.

“Caroline is a very special part of our lives, and she continues to feed into a lot of the things that we are a part of. We are honored to be a part of this for you and your family as well,” Katie told Mankins and Ball.

Knox County Foundation Executive Director Jeffrey Scott thanked Mankins and Ball for allowing the foundation to play a small role in the restroom project.

“The foundation is never really the only reason anything happened, but we often get to be a part of the reason why things happen,” he said.

“It has been such a privilege to walk alongside this family, help them coordinate what they needed, be the recipient, holding the fund for the donations that the community donated in memory of Frances, and now here finally today to be with you to celebrate the dedication of this much-needed proximate restroom to the playground.”

Friends of Frances Fund

In addition to the restroom project, Mankins and Ball established the Friends of Frances Fund at SPI SPOT.

Executive Director Stephanie Calondis Geiger said fund donations provide respite for caregivers and free passes after community events.

“We wanted to get more families to SPI because family time together is the best, and that bonding creates families like the Balls,” she said.

A wall plaque listing the family’s names honors the family. Frances’ name is included.

‘It’s been a privilege and an honor to be able to memorialize and honor Frances in this way,” Geiger said.

‘A great community thing’

Knox DD Superintendent Steve Oster noted the playground is always packed in the evenings and on weekends.

“What you see here is a gift to the city,” he said. “The one thing we kept hearing was when are you going to have a bathroom.”

The heated restroom features hot water. It includes an accessible adult changing table and affords privacy for bigger kids without having to return home and miss the fun.

“I appreciate this has been a work in progress for a long time,” Oster said. “They took a lot of time to create something really good.

“It’s a great community thing.”

Ball thanked the project partners. Partners include Smith Paving and Excavating, Custom Wired, RCI Mechanical, Norwalk Concrete Industries, Greenwich Electric, Ellis Brothers, Terreacon, DLZ, NCI, and the city.

“Everybody worked together,” he told the partners. “We want our children to see this, and we want them to experience this, and we want them to grow up and be in your shoes.”

Mankins and Ball hope a similar bathroom is in the future for other city parks. People interested in supporting the project can donate through the Knox County Foundation.

by Cheryl Splain November 22, 2024